Dating Tips

You’re old enough to date. You’d like to find someone who is attractive and who shares your beliefs. In the past, though, each time you tried to start a relationship, you felt as though you crashed and burned.

If you’d like to get to know a girl better, what factors do you need to consider?

What to do first

Before you decide to pursue a particular girl, there are some basic skills you need to master, and these will help you to be friend with anyone. Consider the following.

Cultivate good manners.

Love is not ill-mannered. Good manners show that you respect others and that you’re developing a mature, christlike personality. However, good manners aren’t like a suit you wear to impress others but take off when you get home. Ask yourself, “do I display good manners when dealing with my family members”? If not, then it will seem forced when you do so while interacting with others outside your home. Remember, to find out the type of person you really are, a discerning girl will look at the way you treat members of your family.

What girls say: “ I definitely find it attractive if a boy displays good manners both in small things, like opening the door for me, and larger things, like being kind and considerate not only to me but also to m family.” Tina 20

“I am put off when I’ve just met someone but be asked questions that ate too personal, such as ‘are you dating?’ and ‘what are your goals?’ its rude and makes me squirm!” Kathy 19.

Maintain your personal hygiene. Good hygiene shows respect not only for others but also for yourself. If you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you. On the other hand, if you let your hygiene slide, you’ll sabotage your efforts to impress a girl.

Cultivate conversation skills. The basis of a lasting relationship is good communication. This involves discussing not only your interests but also the interest of your friend.

“I think that boys are attracted to what they see, but girls are more attracted to what they hear.”

Take the initiative. If you think a friend whom you admire might make a good marriage mate, let her know you are interested in her. Be clear and forthright in declaring your feelings. Yes, it can be nerve-racking. You fear rejection. But your being willing to take the initiative is a sign that you have grown up.

What girls say: “ I can’t read minds. So if someone wanted to get to know me better, he would have t o be honest and straightforward and just tell me.” Nina, 23

“ it could be an awkward transition if you’ve been friends for a while. But I’d respect someone if he simply said that he would like to get to know me as more than just a friend.” Helen, 25

Respect the girl’s decision. What if your friend says that she doesn’t want a more serious relationship with you? Dignify her by believing that she knows her own heart and that her no means no. it betrays a lack of maturity if you make a pest of yourself. Really, if you ignore a girl explicit rejection of your attention – even becoming provoked by her rebuff – are you really thinking of her interests or your own?