Dating Tips
You’re old enough to date. You’d like to find someone who is
attractive and who shares your beliefs. In the past, though, each time you
tried to start a relationship, you felt as though you crashed and burned.
If you’d like to get to know a girl better, what factors do
you need to consider?
What to do first
Before you decide to pursue a particular girl, there are
some basic skills you need to master, and these will help you to be friend with
anyone. Consider the following.
Cultivate good manners.
Love is not ill-mannered. Good manners show that you respect
others and that you’re developing a mature, christlike personality. However,
good manners aren’t like a suit you wear to impress others but take off when
you get home. Ask yourself, “do I display good manners when dealing with my
family members”? If not, then it will seem forced when you do so while
interacting with others outside your home. Remember, to find out the type of
person you really are, a discerning girl will look at the way you treat members
of your family.
What girls say: “
I definitely find it attractive if a boy displays good manners both in small
things, like opening the door for me, and larger things, like being kind and
considerate not only to me but also to m family.” Tina 20
“I am put off when I’ve just met someone but be asked
questions that ate too personal, such as ‘are you dating?’ and ‘what are your
goals?’ its rude and makes me squirm!” Kathy 19.
Maintain your
personal hygiene. Good hygiene shows respect not only for others but also
for yourself. If you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you.
On the other hand, if you let your hygiene slide, you’ll sabotage your efforts
to impress a girl.
Cultivate
conversation skills. The basis of a lasting relationship is good
communication. This involves discussing not only your interests but also the
interest of your friend.
“I think that boys are attracted to what they see, but girls
are more attracted to what they hear.”
Take the initiative.
If you think a friend whom you admire might make a good marriage mate, let her
know you are interested in her. Be clear and forthright in declaring your
feelings. Yes, it can be nerve-racking. You fear rejection. But your being
willing to take the initiative is a sign that you have grown up.
What girls say: “
I can’t read minds. So if someone wanted to get to know me better, he would
have t o be honest and straightforward and just tell me.” Nina, 23
“ it could be an awkward transition if you’ve been friends
for a while. But I’d respect someone if he simply said that he would like to
get to know me as more than just a friend.” Helen, 25
Respect the girl’s decision. What if your friend says that
she doesn’t want a more serious relationship with you? Dignify her by believing
that she knows her own heart and that her no means no. it betrays a lack of
maturity if you make a pest of yourself. Really, if you ignore a girl explicit
rejection of your attention – even becoming provoked by her rebuff – are you
really thinking of her interests or your own?
